With all the stress and anxiety you get from dealing with life struggles such as work, community and social interaction, school, etc., are you comfortable to say that you are perfectly fine? With all the online therapy sessions you attended and all the tips you get from the meetings, can you say it’s all working? Well, if you think there’s something more than just pretending to be stable with your current state right now, you might want to consider checking your valuable time. Not because you feel like doing a lot of things that doesn’t mean you are reaching productivity. So let me share basic tips to achieve a more active time-management process. Read More →
Anxiety is a mental health condition caused by uncontrolled emotional turmoil. “Anxiety is the most common psychological condition that people struggle with, and it often follows high stress,” according to Seth J. Gillihan Ph.D. It is something that takes away positive thoughts by leaving tiny bits of fears in both old and new experiences. It hinders a person in reaching his potential. It affects life and changes everything constantly. That’s the reason why battling with this condition becomes a necessity. Hence, there’s got to be an increase in emotional intelligence to help manage and deal with anxiety before it can eventually destroy a person’s overall wellness.
Emotions sometimes referred to as an inner spirit. It is comparable to the breath of life. It prescribes a person’s actions and becomes the foundation of his judgment. As what Tasha Rube, LMSW, quoted, “Whether you’re dealing with anger, depression, or frustration it is important to have good skills to address any emotions causing you distress both in the short term and long term.” It is true that when an individual can master his emotions, he can entirely manage his actions. And when there’s a well-managed action, there’s a significant chance of gaining future realities. Therefore, emotional intelligence is not only a great solution in dealing with anxiety, but to help in boosting overall emotional strength as well.
A Person’s Thought, Is A Person’s Action
There are inevitably two types of people in the world: the “conqueror and the conquered,” and “those who can help and the ones that need help.” Being a conqueror leads to greatness as it allows future development. The self-love gives a person the highest virtues of bravery and courage. Conquerors are leaders and not followers. They believe that the outcomes of their lives are the results of their current actions. These types of people take responsibility for their decisions so they won’t have to blame anyone on whatever unfortunate things that happen to them. These individuals hold high physical and intellectual standards. In a different perspective, there are those who value serving others. These individuals don’t care about their positions. They only know how to use their empathy to provide something useful to others. They picture the world with just good and bad.
On the other hand, there are conquered individuals. Though these people don’t choose their state, they are still the ones to blame for their current situations. These are people who failed to handle their mistakes and didn’t take steps to dig themselves out of their misery. They let their bad decisions get in the way and didn’t take time to think through better solutions. These people never stop blaming others for the unfortunate things that are happening to them. They are filled with anxiety and fear and are no longer able to stand alone. Then there are those who need help. These people are unfortunate not by choice. Most individuals in this situation appear unlucky and always stay as victims of the harshness of the world.
How Emotions Get Stronger And Weaker
At a young age, people get harnessed with the things around them. “For many people, emotions are a scary thing”, according to Darlene Mininni, Ph.D, MPH. An individual structure called “environment” takes a toll on how emotions work differently. With the knowledge people get from the structure, they navigate the world. But not all people receive the same sentiment as they see different views of the world. That’s the problem with handling personal and societal issues. No one is right and wrong when it comes to emotional judgment. That’s because one person can grow up in a structure that strength and weakness come from personality and responsibility. The other one can grow up in an environment where collective character matters. Meaning, there’s only a focus on the needy and the fortunate. In that sense, people see anxiety, anger, and depression, as a tool to become stronger. It becomes their highest ideal of emotions. While on the other hand, some individuals use compassion to allow them to become a giver.
Since there are always two sides of everything, the power of emotional intelligence comes in when people can alter the invisible structure around them. When they know how to gather a diverse set of critical concept and see a scenario in two different perspectives, they become more powerful. That’s because they can become adaptive to every situation, whether it’s good or bad. People who focus on the layer of hidden positivity on adverse emotional conditions are the ones who can entirely manage their mental state. By looking and experiencing potential realities that could exist in life, people can find new ways to manage their anxiety.
Whenever you try to make decisions with a family member or coworker, you may find that you don’t always share the same views. They have their opinion on the matter, and you have yours as well. If you still can’t decide in the end, that’s when the third option comes up, which typically lets leaders create a win-win agreement. “Negotiation is a basic survival skill for work success, whether it has to do with program resources, raises or work load,” Nadine Kaslow, PhD refers to achieveing a win-win situation.
What Does It Mean?
Thinking of an alternative solution that will benefit both parties is a habit based on interpersonal leadership. It is greater than a transactional relationship or transformational leadership where people and relationships get transformed. It is the art of searching for a third choice – a way to find your greatness. It stems from an abundant mentality and begins by focusing on the bigger picture – or even creating one.
By using the win-win approach, you will be able to switch from competition to collaboration or cooperation, which in turn allows you to achieve better solutions. The downside is that it takes a much longer time and requires extra work. Nevertheless, good will, productive relationships, and trust are some of its benefits that will serve every party in the long run.
“Begin by recognizing each time you feel a tug of war begin. If each of you is pulling for your preferred solution to a problem, switch immediately from arguing in favor or against particular plans of action to exploring your underlying concerns,” according to Susan Heitler, Ph.D. for her Win-Win Waltz strategy in marriage which can be used for work.
Traits That All Leaders Share
There will always be different ways to lead others to success, regardless of how much the world changes. According to Melanie Greenberg Ph.D., “A key quality of leadership is the ability to inspire others through emotional connection as well as rational arguments and explanation.” The wealthiest man in the early 20th century, Andrew Carnegie, was a self-made industrialist who once wrote that successful leaders exemplify a set of traits that most of them possess.
The first of those qualities is the ability to plan. They never run out of motives or goals that drive them continuously to victory, and only surround themselves with talented or goal-oriented people.
Great leaders are self-reliant too. They have high self-discipline and are very persistent in finishing what they have started; that’s why they are not dependent on anyone. A good number of them like to think out of the box and make profitable and objective decisions as well, as they look at all the possible facts before coming up with a conclusion.
The front-runners are one with their staff. They treat them the same way they like to be treated. Any employee’s achievement gets recognized, while the bosses are accountable for their wrongdoings. They do not let emotions guide their actions, that’s why they are capable of knowing what to say during a certain situation.
Other not-so-hidden secrets behind the leaders’ success are their enthusiasm for their craft, tactfulness, ability to listen to their subordinates, loyalty, likeability, and utter determination to live up to what is expected of them and possibly go beyond that. They see themselves as their primary opponents and ultimate motivators. That is why they are open to constructive criticism that can help them correct their mistakes, pay more attention to details, and stay focused on their goals.
There Is Always An Opportunity When All Seems Lost
The founder of Bridgewater Associates, Ray Dalio, said that “If you know your place, you will have an idea about what your allocation would be.” But how can you determine your current place?
From the get-go, remember that there is always tomorrow. You may have heard this saying more than a million times. However, the lesson behind it is as constant as change. Have you ever been worried about an issue to the point of waking up the following day and realizing that you did not genuinely care about the problem? Yes, it is always like that.
Hence, saying that “there is always tomorrow” is not merely a wishful mindset. It is a fact that no matter how horrible you feel now, the next day will come, and you will wake up to a hundred more opportunities. Of course, it does not mean that you should put things off or give up on your desire to find your greatness. It is all about appreciating the truth that you merely need some time to turn your life around.
To Sum Things Up
There are select persons in this world who were born wealthy. Others have invented electricity, discovered gravity and even created the world wide web for our enjoyment. Nevertheless, some never reach their full potential because they believe that success or greatness is left for those who are more fortunate.
Tim Berners-Lee did not just come round one morning and decided to invent the internet. Nikola Tesla and Albert Einstein have spent most of their lives in figuring out how to generate electrical power and understand why we do not float, respectively. These are regular individuals like you and me who happen to have a strong will and patience to go through many trials so that they can achieve their desired goals.
All we’re saying is that every individual has the potential to find greatness and lead others towards success. You don’t simply get a single shot at it. You can try and try and try until you achieve what you want. Learn how to use the win-win approach now!
“Research has suggested that processing speed — the ability to take in information quickly and efficiently — is impaired in individuals who are depressed,” explains Natascha Santos, PsyD.
Do you easily forget things that you need to do? Are you having a difficult time remembering the name of the person that you meet unexpectedly in public places? Is it hard to remind yourself of the essential details about your business or personal transactions? If you answered yes to all these questions, then it is best to read the rest of this article. In this write-up, we are going to enumerate some of the smart techniques that you can follow to increase your memory.
German psychologist Georg Elias Muller and his student Alfons Pilzecker suggested that “our memory for new information is especially fragile just after it has first been encoded, making it more susceptible to interference from new information.”
At this point, it is vital to emphasize the fact that the positive effects of the methods mentioned above will probably take time before they become manifest. As such, you need to be more patient in practicing them before you can notice the results. Here is the list of effective ways on how to improve your memory:
This vital step may shock you especially when many people believe that being physically active has nothing to do with improving one’s intelligence. Unfortunately, this is a common misconception because the truth of the matter is that exercise can improve any person’s memory. Take note that when you engage in these activities, your mind becomes active too. As a result, it will be easier on your part to recall stuff stored in your brain’s memory system.
Get Enough Sleep
Set a specific bedtime schedule that you must strictly follow every single day. Take note that you are not getting any younger, which is why you must rest early if you can. Sleep is a critical factor that can affect your memory in a good way. Remember that you need to relax too by getting a sufficient amount of rest and sleep in a day. At the same time, you must also get up at the same time every morning until your body gets used to it.
Have Fun With Friends
You cannot deny the fact that you are also a friendly person who needs to connect with other like-minded individuals. You need to make friends with others because having stable and happy relationships can positively affect the brain. Keep in mind that the connections that you build with others can stimulate your brain. As such, it is proper to conclude that establishing good relationships with others can also improve your cognitive functions.
Avoid Stress At All Times
Keep in mind that feeling anxiety at times may be considered as typical, especially if you are swamped with duties and obligations wherever you go. However, make sure never to allow these negative emotions bring you down. The more you think about stressful things, circumstances or people, the more your brain will encounter problems. A recent study revealed that stress could lead to memory loss.
“When we learn, we often forget to try and make associations until later on. However, research has shown that memory can be stronger when you try and make the associations when you first take in the information. For instance, think about how two things are related, and the memory for both will be enhanced. Connect new information to existing information or experiences in your mind,” says John M. Grohol, Psy.D.
Do not easily give up when it comes to improving your memory. You need to see to it that you follow the tips and tricks mentioned above. Remember that the results will vary depending on the attending circumstances of each case. Everything will be worth it.
Dr. Robert Myers, a certified psychologist, develops a series of exercises that can help stimulate the brain functions of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or ADHD. These are activities presented as a game that both kids and parents can enjoy together. It promotes kids’ awareness and improves their concentration. Psychologist Jeffrey M. Halperin, Ph.D., and his colleagues say that they have gathered evidence to show that “a program focused on playing nursery games helps young children improve a range of “executive functions,” including working memory and self-control.” Let’s take a look at those fun brain exercises and understand how it helps children with ADHD.
A lot of people are under the impression that therapy is for the weak, which couldn’t be far from reality. However, people who are thriving in their field do not feel alarmed by the thought of therapy. In fact, the majority of successful people are embracing and respecting the entire process as if their lives depended on it.
Talk therapy is a vital instrument that conceives success. People who utilize the therapy’s advantages are smart enough to know that psychotherapy is something that everybody should take into consideration at least once in their lives.
Ellen Hendriksen, PhD explains that “Seeking help from a psychologist, psychiatrist, or other counselor can be a great way to get through a rough patch, get some perspective, or optimize your life. But not everyone feels comfortable taking that step.”
Why Talk Therapy Matters
When it comes down to discussing internal baggage, a lot of people grew up sweeping those emotions under the rug – that it’s not appropriate to discuss feelings with other people, especially with strangers. But times are changing and not talking about something that’s continually bothering you is the single worst mistake that you can do against yourself.
Suppressing emotion and not therapeutically working through your mental and emotional issues, especially abuse or trauma experienced in the past, may culminate in a wide array of debilitating problems. Depression and anxiety are significant players in the world of illnesses and are considered the leading causes of global mental disability.
Benefits Gained From Talk Therapy
Talk therapy is a wonderfully structured type of psychotherapy that addresses not only the major symptoms of specific mental illnesses (like depression) but also the cause of the problem. “Many people function well with depression in front of others. It’s when they start their day, end their day, or isolate themselves from others that the symptoms are obvious,” according to a statement by Susan Fletcher, PhD. While medications such as antidepressants are essential to managing most of the symptoms, it does not rip out the underlying source. That said, here are a couple more benefits that are gained from engaging in talk therapy.
- Talk therapy provides techniques for dealing with unexpected occurrences. Life is full of endless curve balls that may just hit us in the face any minute; therefore, knowing how to manage these problems, whether big or small, is an essential skill to live a healthy life.
- Talk therapy’s effects prevail even after the sessions are over. Long-lasting outcomes are possible because, in this type of psychotherapy, you not only work through your baggage but also learn and develop helpful tools in dealing with unexpected circumstances in the future. The durability of the program is continuous, making the person more tenacious and mature in dealing with life crises.
- Talk therapy lets you acquire a different perspective not only on yourself and your situation but other people’s plights as well. Understanding the people surrounding you is essential to bringing down negative assumptions about them, doing a reality check and seeing the person in an entirely different light. Without the disarray of one’s hunches, recognizing, accepting, and appreciating people’s motivations and intentions becomes way easier.
- Talk therapy rewires the brain to a certain degree that can entirely change one’s control over his or her emotions. Medication can improve part of the brain that’s depressed; however, research shows that psychotherapy is more potent in this area. According to evidence, talk therapy can alter mental activity where self-referential imagery, fear, and command occur.
- Talk therapy replaces self-medication in dealing with psychological disruptions. Though self-medication is strangely common, it does not hammer away the real issue and instead, just masks it. Furthermore, mental illness medications have an addictive effect that may exacerbate the underlying problem. Talk therapy is keen on getting straight to the point and obviating the necessity to self-medicate.
With the advent of numerous therapies, people are starting to consider the advantages of talk therapy in dealing with mental health problems and personal struggles in life. Though the stigma is slowly fading, there is still work to be done in the aspect of promoting talk therapy as a crucial tool in facing life’s daily encounters.
Also, keep these things in mind: “Feel free to ask questions in your search for a therapist. Common questions tend to be about therapeutic style, therapist experience, average length of treatment, fees for services, insurance participation, and scheduling details. Many therapists have websites that address many common questions, but make sure to ask any outstanding questions if you are unclear,” a reminder from Alicia Clark, PsyD.
There’s always that one person or group of persons who will make your work life a living nightmare. “While we assume that most people follow the golden rule of “treat others the way that you would like to be treated”, there are definitely some individuals who are not guided by this principle and regularly break this rule”, says Dr Damon Ashworth, a Clinical Psychologist. One of the main things that my psychiatrist have taught me when dealing with toxic people at work is that one must first get to know how they’ve turned out to be impossible to get along with.
Not only that, there are a couple of things that my psychiatrist has revealed to me that made me change my perception towards my co-workers.
Here are the things that I learned which made a lot of sense:
- They Might Not Mean It
Sometimes, we are so caught up in all the negative things about our insufferable co-workers that every mistake or comment gets magnified, intensified, and overanalyzed. Individuals are called as such because we are composed of different personalities – what you’re used to might not be the same with your co-worker. People don’t wake up and instantaneously put your name on top of their “Today’s To Piss Off List.”
One must admit, we are not always bright and sunny and we can be the problematic person for someone inside the office on any given day. You have to face the fact that people experience bad days and weeks and dumping that frustration towards colleagues is an insanely normal thing to do. We just can’t help our outburst, especially those who don’t have proper coping mechanisms for stress and pressure. Psychotherapist Amy Morin, pointed out “that toxic people can take “a serious toll on your mental well-being”.
Intentions of people vary and most certainly, their life goal is not to irritate you or be upsetting. Often, these troublesome people are also victims of their storms.
- Calming Ourselves Will Not Enable The Nuisance
Heated arguments with toxic people can happen, especially if you’ve just reached your maximum tolerance. There are only two outcomes from this: you’re like adding gasoline to fire or shutting the other person down entirely. However, challenging people, much like bullies, are often prepared for comebacks.
Keeping your cool can make a lot of difference. “Maintaining an emotional distance requires awareness” said Travis Bradberry, Ph.D. Though it is easier said than done, miscommunication often intensifies if you act on the aggressor with a raging disposition. So, giving yourself time to breathe and relax before making a reply is a valid rebuttal to a frustrating co-worker. It keeps your emotions at bay and disables any impending work-related problems.
- Understanding People Can Go A Long Way
Misunderstandings are one of the leading causes of work-related drama. Though it is challenging to see eye-to-eye, you can turn things around by trying to understand a particular topic from the person’s point-of-view. By doing so, you are developing an emphatic attitude that will not only make you further figure out why the person is acting out a certain way, but will also make you feel better.
Empathy for a person’s inner struggles can benefit one’s perception and maturity. On the plus side, being empathetic creates more manageable working relationships.
If you have someone inside the office that’s making your work life miserable, acknowledgment of their behavior does not mean immediate acceptance. Boundaries or limitations must be established; otherwise, consequences must be initiated. Remember that in workplaces, there are specific departments and individuals whose primary responsibility is to handle problematic people. If your capacity to deal or handle toxic people has already been depleted, you can always seek help, especially if the problem is affecting your work and well-being.
When people learned that you are working from home, the first thing that comes to their minds is, “Lucky for you. You can just lie around and still get paid.” They thought home-based workers have all the luxury of time to play around and just work a little.
Yes, there are many perks to working from home, like taking breaks when you want or need to, just work in your pajamas, no need to travel for hours or get caught in the traffic. But like any other job, there is also a downside to it. Working from home is not always a bed of roses.
“Employees often find themselves struggling to balance workplace demands with a desire to maintain strong relationships or ensure quality family time. That struggle can be emotionally draining and – if allowed to fester without intervention – can lead to more serious mental and/or physical concerns,” explains Nels Magelssen, PsyD, PS.
Distractions Kill Work-Life Balance
Managing time is the hardest part of being a work-at-home employee because there are more distractions at home than in an office setting. There is no boss to call your attention to get you back on track. If other things eat up your time, your productivity and the quality of your work will suffer. You may end up spending more time in front of your laptop than you are supposed to, sacrificing time for yourself.
Self-Discipline Combined with Time Management Results in Work-Life Balance
If you wanted to be a home-based worker, you should be ready to have discipline and determination. Working from home is more comfortable as you have flexible working hours, but you need to have strict rules when it comes to time management. Just watch out for issues like stress and anxiety because “working remotely creates a unique pressure to appear busy,” said Jane Scudder, a certified personal development and career transition coach.
It’s important to establish and maintain a work-life balance when you work from home in order to be creative and productive. If putting balance in your work and life is neglected, you may lose mental agility, and you will get tired of the everyday monotony. To prevent this from happening, the following techniques are truly worth trying,
- Be in control of your time. It’s your first guard against imbalance. List your tasks for the day and prioritize. You will then have an idea of what and how much works need to be accomplished. Read more time management tips here: www.mom365.com.
- Create a system. This will allow you to manage your tasks well and meet your deadlines with less stress. Finishing on time means you’ll have some spare time to do your stuff.
- Have an exclusive workspace. It may be the corner of your room, a nook, or a spare room, any space that is comfortable for you to do your work. Put boundaries, letting your household members know that this is your workplace. Fewer distractions more output.
- Leave your office. When you’re done with the day’s work, leave your work area. Maintaining the division between your work area and the rest of the house is a way to put balance in your work and personal life. Take a break, go for a walk, have a coffee break.
- Disconnect and Reconnect. Learn to disconnect from your social network and other things that may distract you when you are in work mode. Failure to doing so will result in poor quality of work, low productivity, and finishing late.
When you’re done, disconnect from your work mode and reconnect to the real world. Have a chat with family. Go out with friends. This is the time to enjoy a social life.
Work-Life Balance is Happiness
Happiness, satisfaction, and effectivity of working at home will depend on how well you manage your time. Developing the habits of proper time and task management, putting boundaries on your workspace and the rest of your home, and learning how to disconnect and reconnect will make you most effective even without your boss peeping behind your shoulder now and then. Having a healthy work-life balance will allow you to enjoy the full benefits of working from home.
“Now, I block time off on my work schedule for family time, self-care and also try to be realistic and generous with regard to how much time I will spend traveling or preparing for meeting, sessions or consultations. Building in an extra 10 or 15 minutes to catch up or ensure I have time to eat lunch without rushing also goes a long way. I’ve made changes in my schedule to work from home several days a week to spend mornings and afternoons with my kids because they grow up so fast,” a reminder from Stephanie O’Leary, Psy.D. who also works from home a few days a week.
Sometimes we do things unconsciously, and this often leaves us with not so good results. It’s like eating chocolates unconsciously, telling yourself, “just this once.” Every time, that’s what we say to ourselves, not noticing the calories, sugar, and fat building up in your body. Finally, one day you wake up and look in the mirror, and alas – you’re now a chubbo.
The same goes for work. Sometimes, unconsciously we do things that we don’t realize disrupts our productivity. “People check their phones every 15 minutes or less, even if they don’t have any alerts or notifications,” according to psychologist Larry Rosen. We become so occupied and enjoy those outside forces too much that it eventually becomes a habit – a habit that pulls our productivity trajectory down.
Skipping breakfast is not a good idea, but that’s what most of us are doing. Breakfast fuels our body to perform its work correctly. Omitting it will mean getting tired quickly and might even make us dizzy, making us less productive.
Eating meals right at your desk makes you less creative and may leave your work area a mess. Use lunch breaks as an opportunity to socialize and network. It’s more rejuvenating than eating alone.
Saying Yes to More Tasks
Being pressured with so much to do keeps you out of balance, both at work and your private life. Taking on more than you can handle hinders your happiness, creativity, and productivity.
It’s easy to look like you’re listening, but how much of it do you actually understand and how much is retained? Listening is a skill one must develop, especially listening during a meeting. Time is wasted and so is your productivity compromised when you miss some critical instructions. The tendency is to go back again and re-do things over again.
Not Asking For Help
Don’t try to be a know-it-all person. Ask when you’re not sure. Collaborate with your co-workers. And sometimes, it’s okay to ask for help when it’s impossible to meet a deadline. Always bear in mind that two heads are better than one.
Turn off your social media when not necessary. Sometimes just a peek gets you hooked, not noticing it already snatched your time away.
Notifications and Emails
Browse notifications and emails during breaks. Check which ones need an immediate reply and which ones can wait for later. Being stuck on those emails and notifications will really hurt your productivity and will delay your work which is stressing.
Phone calls are best at distracting you at your most creative moment, and after a call, it’s difficult to refocus. Put your phone in silent mode when working or better put it away when you’re not expecting important calls. For emergency calls, you can instruct your family to use the landline so the secretary can inform you that you got an emergency call.
According to Kendra Cherry MS, a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, “In the past, many people believed that multitasking was a good way to increase productivity.” Not all are effective when they multi-task. In fact, most become less productive and more stressed. Avoiding multitasking is hard to do, but it can be done and swiping through your phone or browsing the net while doing your work or while on a meeting if not necessary so you can focus. Practice focusing on one task at a time until it becomes a habit you develop.
Things you do unconsciously can develop a habit that can become a thief that will snatch your productivity. It may seem pleasurable at present but will it will definitely hurt your efficiency and leave you stressed in the long run. Have the courage to break these habits now and work on a well-balanced and prosperous life.
“Goal-setting in psychology is an essential tool for self-motivation and self-drivenness – both at personal and professional levels,” a parting note from Madhuleena Roy Chowdhury, BA, certified psychiatric counsellor.