My sister suffered from a messy breakup last year. She was in a kind of relationship that almost caused a permanent rift in our family. That’s especially true when we found out that her boyfriend was already married to someone else, and she still wanted to be with him. She would have gone with that guy if he did not leave my sister for his wife.

After that incident, my sister seemed like she was in limbo. She stopped going to work; she never left the house. Although her weight remained the same, it was evident that she let go of herself because she looked way older than her 23-year-old self. It had gotten so bad that people assumed that she was our 50-year-old mother’s sister.

Despite all that, we never gave up on my sister. My parents encouraged her to go out again and find a new job away from her ex. When she found one that she liked, things started to look up for her. My sister’s cheerfulness returned; she no longer stayed cooped up in her room. More importantly, my sister began to join us for dinner again, which she stopped doing in fear of being questioned about her former relationship.


One Year Later

One evening, while we were having a movie night at home, my sister received an email from Instagram informing her that someone tried to log in using her username and password. However, whoever that person was could not get in because they failed the account verification test.

My sister tried tracing the location of the person who wanted to open her account and realized that it must be her ex who did that. There was no way to guarantee it at the time because she already blocked him, but he was the only person who knew those details. Luckily, my sister seemed to have completely moved on from him since she was more annoyed than anything that the guy would hack into her account.

A week later, we were surprised yet again when the guy messaged my mother on Facebook, asking how my sister was doing. He also asked for my parents’ forgiveness for turning my sister into a mistress. But the hilarious thing was that he was asking when – not if – he could come over so that he could apologize in person. The nerve!


All my mother did that day was block the guy on social media. Just when we thought it was over, my sister’s best friend called to say that the guy messaged her, asking about the same thing. The best friend replied and told him to stop bothering my sister because she was already fine without him.

Although that was the truth, my sister could not help but worry about her ex’s reemergence. She asked me to accompany her in seeking professional counseling the next day. We found one through friends’ recommendations, and the kind counselor listened to my sister talk about her former relationship.

Near the end of the session, my sister asked, “How can I make sure that I will not fall to my ex’s charms again?”

Here are a few tips that remained in my head.


Stop Anyone From Talking About Your Ex

The counselor said that the quickest way to remedy such a situation was to avoid talking about my sister’s ex. If any of us wanted to mention him, we’d better zip it because it’s not helping her. She also encouraged us to spread the word to our family and friends to ensure everyone’s on the same page.

“I don’t support the idea of faking it until you make it,” the counselor added. “I believe in the forgive-and-forget thing more than that. If you stop acknowledging your ex’s existence, your memories of him will eventually fade into oblivion.”

Consider The Losses You Experienced Due To The Relationship

The counselor asked my sister to recount her losses because of her messy relationship. The list included her job, some of her friends, our parents’ trust, etc. The counselor then gave my sister something to think about: “If you entertain your ex once more, who’s to ascertain that you’ll lose the same things or more?”


Realize That Life Is Better Without Stressors In It

My sister’s ex was – and still is – one big source of stress. It was not just for my sister but all of us, considering my sister could not fight her battles independently and always needed our support. Hence, the counselor also encouraged her to count her blessing ever since she split with that guy.

Final Thoughts

I could never fathom the ordeal that my sister went through in her search for true love. Her journey was filled with humiliation, embarrassment, and lack of self-respect. We would not have known about it until the guy broke up with her.

Thankfully, my sister had finally gotten over her ex. It did not mean that he already stopped trying to bother her – she merely stopped caring, which was a great thing. That’s the best way to stay away from someone who betrayed you.

Do you love yourself? Love Yourself.


The Road To Loving Me. During my first year in college, my judgmental side was very strong.



This article is particularly focused on the ‘Love Yourself’ topic. Not quite like the song of Justin Bieber titled “Love Yourself”. It’s more like focusing on your self worth.

You see, ever since I decided to study psychology and eventually practiced counseling, I made a vow to keep myself neutral all the time. This was a challenging task for me, considering I used to be very judgmental.

Many people tell me to ‘love yourself’ instead of throwing comments. If I saw a lovely, blonde girl in a barely-there skirt, I would think that: “She’s lovely, but she’s a bimbo.”. My assumptions were correct most of the time; however, that’s not something that I could continue doing if I wanted to become an unbiased and effective psychologist and counselor.
The Road To Loving Your Own Self
During my first year in college, my judgmental side was very strong. I was ashamed of myself for it to say the least. It got to the point where I asked one of my professors if I should change my degree. However, she explained that I was merely human and told me “love yourself instead.”

loving yourself


It was quite a challenging mindset to develop. How can someone truly love oneself? How can one accept their true self? How can I fill my life with self love? It’s not really something I can search on YouTube or Facebook. The song lyrics to Ed Sheeran music were not enough. Hello, Justin Bieber? A little help in here, please!

But, here’s the thing: As years pass, I had improved at being less judgmental. I simply took the advice – love yourself.

The Admission To My Judgmental Side

By the time I opened my own clinic, I believed that my judgmental days were over. I had my professional training and licenses. I can handle taking care of mental disorders and other issues. I can be a reliable ally who can cheer up patients, encourage them to embrace themselves, and promote the “love yourself” mentality.

However, what my mentors or books or instructional videos did not prepare me for was the high number of women who would seek psychological advice because they were desperately in love with the wrong person.

how to start loving yourselfSource:

You might ask, “Isn’t ‘desperate’ a harsh word to use to describe how those women feel?”

Well, although not all cases are the same, the fact remained that I watch my female relationship counselling clients still be with their boyfriends even after catching them fooling around with other girls. Yes, they would call it quits for a while. But, once the guy tried to woo them back into the relationship, they would give in once more. I can already imagine Ed Sheeran shaking his head in disappointment.

It seems like my judgmental side was still very much a part of my life.
So, Is It Really Love?
Listen up ladies: that is not true love! He isn’t the man of your dreams who would bring you happiness.

What’s frustrating about this was that most – if not all – of these women were smart and successful. Some had high-ranking positions in their companies. Others managed their own businesses. Indeed, they have established themselves in this world. They were living a good quality of life! Yet, I continue to watch them be miserable with their love life.

Do you love yourself enough to know when a relationship is not right anymore? Remember: staying in a bad relationship is not self-respect.


Do You Love Yourself Enough To Let Go?
These women fully understand that their men’s behavior is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. Their men only fill them with doubt and unhappiness. They knew what they are supposed to do. Obviously, they should break off the relationship and practice self love. It’s a clear sign – their awful boyfriends will not fill the gaps they have in life.

But, here’s the thing: They admitted to not knowing how to do it. They were at lost at knowing how to love their self.

The result? Staying in an unhealthy relationship and ignoring every single negative sign.

Why Many Women Felctim To Love
While I secretly had my fill of frustration with my clients, I always wondered why many women are influenced by things like bad relationships. Every single sign is out there already. Worse, even if they knew that they were getting victimized, they were still willing to accept the guys once the latter said sorry. They always fall for those empty promises of change.

Do Justin Bieber have a song for this scenario? I think he does. This content you’re currently viewing will give you more insights.

Of course, I can’t simply tell my clients to stop being dumb. I could not lead a pep talk to let their minds matter more than their hearts for at least a second. I can’t preach that they can’t win at life if they stayed with the wrong man.

I can’t even tell them to go on YouTube and watch the music videos of Justin Bieber and Ed Sheeran in hopes of getting inspired by the song lyrics!

But, there’s one thing I can definitely tell them: Love yourself first and let go.

Free Female artist working in studio Stock Photo

Focusing On Self-Love: The Art Of Finally Letting Go And Gaining Inner Peace

Why can’t I let go?

I had met some women who admitted that they couldn’t let go of their awful boyfriends because they were already comfortable. Even one of my closest friends had a similar issue. She dreaded being single and going back to the dating pool. She doesn’t want to fall back to phase zero on the search for her greatest love.


While there’s not really a one-size-fits-all answer to the question above, such reasons tend to stem from dependence or fear of loneliness. They need a special someone to fill in the gaps in their life.

Because of this, they tend to hasten the search.

It’s not that these women were madly in love with their boyfriends. They merely don’t want to be alone in this world. They would rather prioritize relationships with others more than self love.

What It Means To Not Let Go

What women must understand is that staying in a messy relationship can make you lonelier in life than ever. Yes, you’re not single. But, you’re always crying and wondering who your man would flirt with next. Yes, you’re exclusively dating. But, you constantly worry that you’re not the only one who your boyfriend treats the same way. If that’s the matter, it’s so much better to be single than deal with all those issues including details about managing your partner’s treatment towards you. This type of relationship will only fill you with bad memories.

It’s better to continue to YouTube and see if Justin Bieber search for on YouTube has a new song. Just saying.

Free Woman Doing Hand Heart Sign Stock Photo


Kidding aside, focus on loving yourself and on what’s around you. The world is so big to stay in a bad relationship. The wrong person will only fill your life with negativity.
The Best Advice To Everyone – Please Love Yourself!
Based on past activity, my final advice is that you need to love yourself before you demand others to do it. How will you know a love is right when you don’t even love yourself?

A simple way of showing that is by letting go of the people who did not care for you, your feelings, or your reputation. There’s so much more in this world than wasting your time on the wrong person!

Love is indeed a wonderful feeling. But, just like Ed Sheeran said: loving can hurt. An awful boyfriend will not fill you with that wonderful feeling and enhance the quality of your life. If you know that you are with the wrong man, it’s time to accept that he should not be a part of your life anymore.
Love Yourself First, The Rest Will Follow
You may think you need to be with someone to be happy in this world, but you really don’t need to rush it. So while dating and sex are fantastic, it’s better to try your luck with another – better loving – man next time. Don’t be afraid of the search process!

As the songs lyrics of Justin Bieber goes: “Baby, you should go and love yourself.”

Free Close-Up Shot of Scrabble Tiles Stock Photo

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) On Love Yourself

  1. What is the meaning behind Love Yourself?
  2. Does the term love yourself mean being alone?
  3. How do you know if you love yourself or not?
  4. What are the ways to love yourself?
  5. What are the 5 Steps to self-love?
  6. Why is it hard to accept reality?

I had depression when I was 18 years old. I was living away from home back then and maintained an apartment near the campus. My depression started to develop when my boyfriend left me for a cheerleader, who also happened to be my best friend. Their betrayal made me feel so alone and unloved.

In the following weeks, since getting double-whammied by two people I trusted the most, I barely went to my classes unless there was an exam. I stayed in my room most of the time. I made sure to keep it locked so that people would think that I was not home. Then, I would muffle my sobs with my pillow until I could fall asleep.

Though I did not see a way out of my depressive phase initially, I got a good look at myself in the mirror after two months. I saw how much my sadness affected my appearance. In truth, I did not even recognize my reflection anymore, which was scary. As a result, I decided to drive to a psychologist’s clinic. I got diagnosed with depression soon and got whatever treatment was necessary to get back on my feet as soon as possible. Two months after therapy, I finally told my parents what happened to me and apologized to them for hiding it for too long.

This thing was, the psychologist stressed that I might have high-functioning depression, but it did not mean that I was not vulnerable to slipping further down the depression lane. There were some trigger factors that he told me to be careful of to avoid getting depressed again.

Then, My Sister Had Depression, Too

I have a sister named Isla, who was only two years younger than me. Even if my parents would refuse to admit it, I knew that she was the family’s favorite. After all, whenever we had family gatherings, relatives would always ask about her first. For instance, “Where is Isla?” “What incredible things have Isla achieved so far?”

They never showed that much interest in me. Hearing them talk about Isla like that often stung me because I was a higher achiever than her. Only, Isla was a more slender, taller, and more beautiful version of me, so they loved her.

Unfortunately, Isla and I had the same fate when it came to boys. When she entered college, her boyfriend of many years dumped her to be with his classmate. He ended their relationship through a text, which was the worst thing that you could ever do. It caused my sister to fall into depression.

When I learned about it, I gave my parents the number of my psychologist. The problem was that they asked me to accompany her to the appointments and practically become my sister’s shock absorber. I could not believe that my parents wanted me to do that, considering they knew that about my depression.

“But you’re cured now,” my mother insisted.

My parents failed to realize that depression was incurable. Isla’s experience was the biggest trigger factor that my psychologist discussed, given its uncanny similarity to my original issues. When I still refused, my father said, “Please help your sister. She needs someone in her corner, and we cannot be there for her all the time.”

I got that, of course, but why couldn’t they allow my sister to handle her depression on her own as I did? Her situation should not burden me. Being high functioning did not mean that was 100% okay.


What does it mean to be high functioning? 

High functioning implies that a person is disabled and has a chronic illness or a mental health problem. He functions physically or mentally at a higher level than the others with the same illness; for example, a 9-year-old boy with autism or a high functioning alcoholic.

What is the most reliable symptom of depression?

Indications of clinical depression include hopelessness, tearfulness, irritability, angry outbursts, lack of pleasure or interest in previously loved activities, and feelings of sadness.

What are the four major causes of depression?

Experts agree that depression does not originate from merely having too little or many brain chemicals. Instead, it arises from many potential causes, including genetic predisposition, medications, incorrect mood regulation by the nervous system, existing medical conditions, and stressful life situations.


What does high-functioning bipolar look like?

‘High-functioning,’ when talking about bipolar disorder, does not refer to the level of the disorder itself, but instead, the individual’s capacity to manage it. This means that the individual may have acute symptoms but can mask them and perform their daily tasks.

Can you hide being bipolar?

Can a person have a masked or hidden bipolar disorder without other people knowing? The unexpected fact is that occasionally, individuals with the disorder can do a great job in concealing or minimizing their illness’s specific symptoms.

How does a person with bipolar think?

In the manic stage of bipolar disorder, it is typical to have increased energy, euphoria, and creativity. If you are experiencing bouts of mania, you may be deprived of sleep, talk for a mile per minute, or become hyperactive. You may also be feeling like you are invincible, intended to be great, or that you are all-powerful.

Does being bipolar mean you are crazy?

Bipolar disorder is a mental health condition marked by severe mood alterations from high to low and high. The highs are moments of mania, while the lows are moments of depression. The mood alterations even get mixed up, so you may feel depressed and excited at the same. Bipolar disorder is not a rare condition, but it does not mean that someone with the disorder is crazy or insane.


Does a bipolar person know they are bipolar?

No, not all who suffer from bipolar disorder know that they have it. There are many reasons why a person with the condition may not be aware of it – why he might not admit having it even though they do,

What is bipolar rage?

Bipolar rage or anger is extreme, explosive, erratic, and impulsive. A person experiencing bipolar rage may be asked a basic question, and he responds with illogical anger and/or agitation. He lashes out for no valid reason for people who care for him.

What should you not say to someone with bipolar?

Here are some phrases that you must not say to someone who has bipolar disorder:

  • “Really? But you’re too smart to suffer from bipolar disorder!”
  • “Why do you sound so down today?”
  • “But I thought you were regularly taking medications for that?”
  • “Will you please stop acting crazy?”
  • “You’ve become so lazy, and you do not have a life anymore.”
  • “We both know he has bipolar, right?”

What is a psychotic break?

Usually, a psychotic break signifies the emergence of psychotic symptoms for someone or the abrupt onset of psychotic indications after a stage of remission. Indications may include visual and auditory hallucinations, delusional views and ideas, and paranoia.

What does burnout feel like?

Individuals who suffer from burnout naturally feel burnt out, defenseless, and empty. As his performance deteriorates, fear of failure and emotional fatigue further increase. Those affected by it feel overwhelmed and engulfed in a gamut of expectations from others. They are unable to meet their expectations of themselves as well.


Is a bipolar person capable of love?

When someone is bipolar, his romantic relationships are affected as well. People who suffer from it experience extreme low and high moods. They experience depressive and manic episodes. But with the appropriate treatment plan, a lot of these individuals can maintain healthy romantic relationships.

Final Thoughts

In the end, I lashed out at my parents. I felt awful for doing that, but I saw no other way for them to realize my situation. It opened their eyes, and they volunteered to take turns taking Isla and me to the psychologist.

I used to have a best friend named Jack. You could say that we go a long way back because I met him when I was in college. No, no one introduced Jack to me – I came across him one night when there were so many disturbing voices in my head, and I went out of the dorm, hoping to find a supermarket to pass the time. That’s where I saw Jack, and I felt an instant connection towards him. 

Jack introduced me to my poison of choice – a whiskey. I felt hesitant to drink at first because I had never done that before. Also, my mother used to say that drunkards go to hell, considering my biological father was one, and he never did anything good for the family. However, my friend Jack was a little more persuasive than I thought, so I took a sip.

The first thing I noticed was the taste of licorice in my mouth. I had always loved licorice; I would never say no to Twizzlers or Red Vines, even though many people put them against each other. Licorice is licorice, thank you very much. I also got a hint of vanilla, toffee, nuts, and something woodsy. I found out later in life that the woodsy flavor came from oak, which was the type of wood that typical barrels for alcohol storage were made of.

Anyway, I liked the taste of whiskey, so Jack said, “Drink more.” I did. A sip turned into a gulp; a gulp turned into a guzzle. I would get a headache the next day, but Jack would advise me to drink my pain away.



Leaving College And Becoming A Full-Time Adult

When I left college, I moved to another state and began to lose contact with my college friends. I was sad, yes, but I told myself, “As long as Jack’s with me, I’ll be fine.”

I thought college prepared me for adult life, but I eventually realized how challenging it was to become one. After all, finding a stable one was already tricky. I was not the only fresh grad from an Ivy League school – there were tens of thousands of us, and many had more connections than me. I soon got a job as a junior marketing exec at an agency, but my struggles were far from over since I had to maintain an excellent credit score, pay a monthly rent, and get a car on a mortgage. Not to mention, there were food, electricity, water, and other miscellaneous bills that I figured would never go away. 

While my salary could cover all my expenses, the mental and physical toll that I experienced after six months became almost unbearable. In other words, I developed depression. Feeling lost, I turned to my best friend Jack again. Every night, we would drink together until I was on the edge of getting drunk. But then, more work piled up, and I messed up some. I stopped caring about hangovers, and I started drinking even in the middle of the day.

How does alcohol affect your mental health?

Drinking alcohol from time to time is okay. It can be relaxing for many people, and we all deserve a break, especially after a very stressful week. However, when taken in excessive amounts, alcohol can slow down our brain’s functions and central nervous system by affecting our brain’s chemical levels. Alcohol could also affect the part of our brain that controls inhibition. This is why we are calmer and less anxious, even if we just had a drink or two. 

Why does alcohol cause anxiety and depression?

Both depression and anxiety are severe mental illnesses that could cause many different issues for a person. Different factors cause these mental illnesses, but one of these factors is alcohol abuse. Drinking on occasion can be good. It keeps us relaxed, and it elevates the mood. However, too much alcohol can alter our brain chemicals, which can slow down our brain’s ability to function well. This leads to some regions of the brain slowly turn to depression or anxiety. 



How does alcohol affect mood?

We usually drink when we either want to elevate our negative mood or when we want to promote our positive mood. In a way, we tend to drink because we want to do something about our emotions as if alcohol has now become a coping mechanism of some sort. Studies have provided us with strong evidence that when we consume alcohol, we tend to feel a lot more emotions than usual. The effect of alcohol on a person’s mood will depend on their age, education, gender, and alcohol dependency. In general, people tend to be more emotional and sometimes more aggressive when they drink.

Why do depressed people turn to alcohol?

When a person is depressed, they tend to look for ways to cope with their depression differently. Unfortunately, people have chosen to use alcohol to cope, which has led to many more issues. Alcohol abuse can lead to the severity of depression because alcohol can alter our brain chemicals’ levels. This causes certain areas of our brain to malfunction, causing depression to develop or become more severe. We indeed become more relaxed with depression. However, it is not a good way to cope. 

Does alcohol kill brain cells?

No, alcohol does not kill your brain cells, no matter how dependent you are on it. However, what it does is damages your dendrites or your neurons. This causes difficulty in delivering messages from one dendrite to another. This difficulty in relaying messages causes an issue with your central nervous system and other bodily functions. So, make sure that even when you do drink alcohol, drink responsibly. This might save your life. 

Is drinking alone a bad sign?

Being alone can be a good thing. This could be a time to reflect and evaluate yourself and how you could do better in life. Doing activities on your own could be a way of self-care. Drinking alone could be a pastime that you would do to relax after a long day or a stressful week. However, when drinking alone becomes an issue where you start to abuse alcohol, it becomes a bad sign. So make sure to drink moderately, and if ever you are going through things, and you are using alcohol as a coping mechanism, try and seek help. Drinking will only make things worse. 

Can an AA member ever drink a beer?

Being in a support group, the people around you make sure that you do not go back to your old addicted ways. This includes making sure that you do not take any alcohol or drugs that will push you over the edge. This helps avoid relapses, and this support system can help you cope with stress and highly emotional situations in a healthier way. Drinking that one beer could undo years of hard work, which is why AA members police each other to make sure this does not happen. 

Does daily drinking make you an alcoholic?

The occasional drink or two would not hurt. It helps you de-stress, and it can keep you relaxed. Overall this does not present itself as a health risk. However, once it becomes a daily activity, it can become a factor for your health to decline, including your physical and mental health. An increase in alcohol consumption can be a progression of your mental health issues, and it may be time for you to evaluate your drinking habits. Experts recommend a certain amount of alcohol per day, and this does not have much of an effect on your health, but once it goes beyond that suggested amount, it now becomes an issue. Be sure to watch your intake and know when it becomes too much. 



Why do lonely people drink?

Two things might answer this: first, people tend to turn to alcohol to numb their emotions. When someone is sad or lonely, they use alcohol to become desensitized to their pains, hoping to elevate their mood. Second, they use alcohol as a coping mechanism. Either way, the result is to forget and hopefully be in a better mood. 

Why do I enjoy drinking?

Drinking can be an enjoyable pastime as it helps us de-stress, relax, and elevate our moods. This way, we feel more energized, and it makes us more confident to approach things from a different perspective. This is quite normal for many people, which is why many people turn to alcohol, and unfortunately, some have abused it to a point where it no longer is healthy for them. 

How does a person become an alcoholic?

A person becomes an alcoholic when they start to drink more than usual, and they begin to depend on alcohol for their happiness or to cope with their emotions. Some signs of a person being alcoholic are: they are irritable when they are not drinking, they habitually drink alone, lying about their alcohol intake and habits, and they may constantly blackout and lose their memory. 

How can I quit drinking?

What you can do is to first commit to quitting. You have to fully understand and accept that drinking has become so unhealthy that it is now becoming harmful. From here, seek support groups that can help you through this process, or you can have yourself checked into a mental facility. Either way, your goal is to seek help because this will be a complicated process, and you will need the support of the people around you and the people who understand what you are going through. 

What are the first signs of liver damage from alcohol?

This could be different for some people, which is why it is important that you regularly visit and consult with a doctor but generally, the symptoms are: abdominal pain, jaundice or yellowing of the skin, abdominal tenderness, dry mouth, increased thirst, fatigue, loss of appetite, your hands and feet may turn red, and your skin may become abnormally dark or light. 

What happens if you give up alcohol for a month?

Over the weeks that you would give up alcohol, there could be different outcomes per week, which your body would be thanking you for. During the first week, your sleeping pattern becomes better. Week two, you lose your acid reflux. For week three, your blood pressure starts to reduce, and finally, for week four, your skin looks better, and your liver function returns to normal. Hopefully, by the end of that month, you would lose interest in drinking altogether. 



Why should you stop drinking?

The best reason for this is, so you start to become healthier again. Drinking can cause many different health issues, from physical health to mental health. Too much alcohol can cause your liver to fail, and it might just kill you. Another reason is so you could become a better example for your kids. Alcohol can be very destructive; you do not want your kids to see you that way. Finally, it will change your life for the better. 

Final Thoughts

I felt the need to stop drinking when I found myself at the back of a police car one morning. Apparently, I got so drunk at the park that I passed out there, and the local joggers found me but didn’t want to wake me up, so they called 911. They eventually let me go when I assured them that I was merely a drunk lady who posed no threat to others, but I made sure to part ways with my best friend Jack before getting mental help.



Regardless of what mental illness you are suffering from – a debilitating phobia, compulsive thoughts, or persistent worries – is vital to know that you can live without fear and anxiety. Treatment can definitely help, and therapy is frequently the best choice for a lot of anxiety issues. That is because therapy for anxiety, which is not the same as medication therapy, manages not only the problem’s symptoms. Therapy can help you identify the causes of your fears and apprehensions; learn how to calm the mind; better problem-solving and surviving skills, and perceive situations in fresh and less terrifying ways. Therapy provides you the tools to deal with anxiety and educates you on how to utilize them appropriately.

Anxiety varies significantly, so therapy should be customized to your particular diagnosis and symptoms. For instance, if you have PTSD, your treatment is different from a person who requires help from panic attacks. The frequency and length of the therapy are also dependent on the intensity and type of the anxiety. But many therapies for anxiety are relatively brief. The American Psychological Association states that a lot of individuals do better considerably within eight to ten sessions.

Various therapy forms are used and recommended to manage anxiety, but the most common approaches are exposure therapy and cognitive-behavioral therapy. Each of these therapies may be utilized singly or together with other therapy forms. Anxiety therapy may be done individually or with a group of individuals with the same anxiety signs and symptoms. However, the aim is the same: to reduce the level of your anxiety, overcome your terrors and apprehensions, and achieve peace of mind.


What type of therapy is best for anxiety disorders?

CBT or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is the most popularly recommended treatment for anxiety disorders. Studies have proven that it effectively manages panic attacks, social anxiety, generalized anxiety disorder, and different phobias, among others.

What are the 6 types of anxiety disorders?

The six classifications of anxiety conditions include phobia, panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, separation anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, and agoraphobia. 

How is anxiety diagnosed and treated?  

A doctor or another medical professional initially diagnoses generalized anxiety disorder through a physical examination. This helps identify signs and symptoms of anxiety associated with an existing medical condition or medications that the person is taking. Urine and blood tests and other tests could also be taken if other conditions are suspected. 

What is the latest treatment for anxiety?

SSRIs are antidepressants that are used as the first-line medications for anxiety disorders. However, the FDA-approved ketamine, originally used as an anesthetic, is now being administered for patients diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, and treatment-resistant depression.

What gets rid of anxiety?

You can try reducing your anxiety symptoms by doing these things below:

  • Staying active regularly is beneficial for your emotional and physical health
  • Quit smoking
  • Avoid consuming too much alcohol and caffeine
  • Get enough sleep
  • Try meditation
  • Do deep breathing exercises
  • Maintain a healthy diet 

What helps severe anxiety?

Most individuals with severe anxiety can be treated with professional medical care, although treatment usually varies. The positive outcomes of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy are typically seen in three to four months. Prescription medicines can be a short or long-term treatment choice, depending on certain situations or medical conditions and how severe the symptoms are. 

Is anxiety a mental illness?

Intermittent anxiety is fine or even normal. But an anxiety disorder is not okay at all. This is a collection of mental health illnesses that lead to overwhelming and persistent anxiety and worry. The extreme anxiety could prevent you from working, going to school, or attending family gatherings and other social get-togethers that might worsen your fear and anxiety.

What do psychiatrists usually prescribe for anxiety?  

Psychiatrists recommend antidepressants, such as SSRIs, to treat their patients with anxiety. The most commonly used SSRIs include Zoloft, Celexa, Prozac, Lexapro, and Paxil. These medications have been administered to patients with obsessive-compulsive disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder, panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and social anxiety disorder. 

Why do people have anxiety?  

A major affair or an accumulation of small stressful circumstances may lead to extreme anxiety, for instance, work-related stress, financial problem, or the loss of a loved one. Additionally, individuals with specific personality types are more inclined to get more anxious compared to others. Brain chemistry and genetic makeup are also factors that cause people to be more prone to having anxiety. 

What type of doctor do you see for anxiety?  

If you are suffering from severe anxiety, you may need to visit a mental health provider, such as a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist is a licensed doctor that focuses on providing diagnoses and treatment of mental health illnesses. On the other hand, a psychologist, among other mental health professionals, is capable of diagnosing anxiety and providing psychotherapy. 

What is the first-line treatment for anxiety?  

Tranquilizers, such as benzodiazepines, are the most popularly recommended drugs for anxiety. Additionally, medications like Klonopin, Xanax, Ativan, and Valium bring fast relief, usually within thirty minutes up to one hour.

What is a good vitamin for anxiety?

Vitamin B is the most commonly suggested vitamins to use for people with anxiety, as they are known to be great stress relievers. Other equally effective supplements that an individual with anxiety can try taking regularly include Glycine, L-theanine, Ashwagandha, and valerian root. 

What is a drug that calms you down? 

Benzodiazepines are popular because they function as mild tranquilizers, hypnotics, or sedatives. They are the most commonly recommended type of drugs all over the world. The relaxing and sedating effects of benzodiazepines are often seen even without the use of drugs.


There is no single pill that can completely fix anxiety. Effectively managing an anxiety disorder will take commitment and time. Therapy entails confronting your terrors instead of evading them, so your feelings will sometimes worsen even before they improve. The vital thing to do is to stick with the treatments and be committed to following your doctor and therapist’s recommendations. If, at some point, you feel like you want to give up, remember that anxiety therapy is a very effective tool for the long-term, and you’ll soon be reaping the benefits if you endure and see it through.

Aside from this, making wise choices can also help you with your recovery. Your activities, which include your personal and social life, inevitably affect anxiety. Set yourself up for success by learning and practicing daily relaxation techniques and a positive mindset every day of your life.



therapizing the family


What Are The Benefits And Goals Of Family Therapy?

What are the benefits of families therapy? 

Family therapy includes strategies derived from cognitive, interpersonal, behavioral, and other forms of treatment. Unlike other treatments, the strategies utilized depend on the particular issues. Know more about the benefits of families therapy in this article.

Emotional or behavioral issues in children are typical reasons to consult a counselor or expert. Children’s issues don’t exist and do not affect anything or anyone. They exist, and they require attention and support from the household. It should be remembered that ‘family’ doesn’t always mean blood relations. It can be anyone who supports, cares, and loves another even if they are not related members or living in the same home.

What Are The Types Of Family Therapy?

Family Therapy

  • Structural. This type of treatment involves making adjustments building strength within the household and ensuring that parents are managing the children and adults appropriately, including setting proper boundaries.
  • Systemic. This model involves the emphasis on unconscious communications and the purpose and meanings of each member’s behavior. The specialist in this type of treatment is impartial and detached.

Bowenian Family Therapy

  • Bowenian. This treatment is most suitable for circumstances where clan members are hesitant to include the rest of the members during treatment. The Bowenian treatment was developed from two main principles – triangulation, or the tendency to release one’s stress and anxiety by venting to another individual, and differentiation, or the process of learning to be less mentally and emotionally responsive to blood relationships.


therapizing the family


  • Strategic. This treatment is also more direct than the other types. The expert delegates assignments to each member for the purpose of changing the way the brood interacts. He then evaluates the way the relatives communicate and discusses their decisions. He also takes the position of authority in this form of treatment, which enables other members that do not typically hold the authority to communicate more efficiently.
  • Make proper observations of how individuals interact.
  • Assess and find solutions for relationship issues.
  • Make a diagnosis and treatment for mental illnesses within the household.
  • Help people in their journey towards transition, such as in death or divorce.
  • Efficiently help substitute an abnormal behavior into a healthy one.

Family Therapists

For the therapist to possess such beneficial skills, they must get a bachelor’s degree in psychology, counseling, social work, or sociology and then a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy.

Then the expert will also be required to finish two years of work under supervision after he graduates. This would be a total of 2,000 to 4,000 hours of practice in the clinical setting. When these are met, the specialist will most likely also need to submit and pass an exam specific to his state and complete yearly continuing education subjects.

Family Therapy Benefits

In essence, the primary objective of this therapy is to work with the household to help it heal from mental, psychological, or emotional difficulties that are destroying the entire brood. To do this, the specialist must help clans improve the way they treat and talk to each other, how they solve their problems and understand and deal with various situations that they may be confronted with every day.

Family Therapy Goals

The goals of the therapy that every member of a household can take advantage of depending on the problems presented by the clients.

Family Therapy Goals May Differ Depending On Below Situations:

  • A related member is diagnosed with schizophrenia or psychosis. The goal here is to guide other members of the brood so that they will learn to understand the nature of the disorder and be able to adapt to the psychological changes that the schizophrenic-related member is going through.

Family External Factors

  • A Household that contradicts social norms, such as gay and lesbian relationships, unmarried couples living together, etc.) The objective here is not often to give attention to particular internal issues. Still, the members might require help in dealing with external factors, such as the attitude of society


therapizing the family therapizing the family


Family Therapy Enhances Communication

  • Issues originate from cross-generational restrictions, like when parents live with grandparents, or children are raised by their grandparents. The objective is to enhance communication and help each member create healthy boundaries.
  • Families who come from diverse cultural, religious, or racial backgrounds. The goal here is to aid relatives in understanding each other better and learning to build healthy relationships.

Family Therapy Resolves Or Reduces Problem Effects

  • The client’s problems are seemingly connected to problems with other members. In circumstances where the problems are profoundly connected to problems with other members, the objective is to tackle each contributing concern and resolve or reduce the effects.

Blended Family

  • Blended families or stepfamilies. These types of households can be affected negatively by issues that are specific to their situation. For the blended household, the objective of this therapy is to improve comprehension and build good interactions between members.


Frequently Asked Questions

  1. What is the primary goal of family therapy?
  2. Does family therapy really work?
  3. What are the goals of family therapy?
  4. Can family therapy make things worse?
  5. How do I get the most out of my family therapy?
  6. What are the basic concepts of family therapy?
  7. What are the disadvantages of family therapy?
  8. What are boundaries in family therapy?
  9. How do I prepare for a family therapy session?


There was rarely a time in my life when I had not been punctual, except for when I forgot to change my alarm’s battery, causing it not to go off at all. In truth, I hated making someone wait for me, regardless of any situation. My reason was that no one forced me to agree to a meeting at a particular time, so I should have no excuse for not being at the rendezvous place on time. This way of thinking seemed to always work in my favor; that’s why I continued to do it.

However, I could not say the same thing for my younger sister. Ever since we were kids, she was the last to prepare for school every morning. Mom and Dad had to take turns waking her up and even needed to resort to shouting or banging doors to make that happen.

When I was in 9th grade, my sister entered the 7th grade. Our first classes took place at the same time – 8:30 A.M. – so we were supposed to be out of the house 30 minutes before that. Otherwise, we would miss the first school bus and need to wait for 15 more minutes for the second one to arrive.



Throughout that year, I could only count the number of times when my sister managed to ride the first bus with me using one hand. The girl could not get ready for school on time, no matter how many letters our parents got from her teachers, complaining about her tardiness. As it turned out, she often missed the first 10 minutes of the class, and the teachers were unhappy.

We all thought that this problem would end in 8th grade because my sister’s first period was at 9 A.M., but we were wrong. If anything, it got worse since she would often “take a nap” after breakfast once Mom had gone to work, and she was all by herself. This tardy routine continued even in college, much to our parents’ chagrin.

As for me, I made it my life’s work to understand my sister’s seemingly never-ending tardiness. I picked my best friend’s brain, who happened to be a budding psychologist years ago, to know more about it. Here’s what I learned.



Constant Lateness Could Be A Sign Of Mental Health Disorder

The main thing I understood was that tardiness could be a symptom of a mental health disorder. After all, it was one thing to be late because your car battery died, you got in an accident, or a loved one needed your help urgently. If someone was clearly making up excuses for their lateness and failing to make it seem believable, that’s not okay.

One of the significant mental health disorders that might cause tardiness was anxiety. Anxious people tend to stay in their heads for a long time without moving or taking any action, you see. They could spend hours thinking and not realize how much time they had lost. It would be incredible if the person were aware of what’s happening and why, but many people hadn’t realized it at all.

Constant lateness could also be a sign of impulse control disorder. If you think about it, a person could easily avoid getting up late by setting up multiple alarms around them. Considering you had been making a similar effort, but to no avail, it might be ideal to seek a mental health professional’s advice on the matter.



Furthermore, the lack of self-confidence might be the reason behind someone’s tardiness. For instance, if you snagged a job at a fast-paced company, and you still could not believe that you deserved the spot, you might often end up not living up to others’ expectations. You might see your reflection before work and start talking down about your abilities, to the extent that you already missed the time.

How To Stop Being Late

Consulting a psychologist regarding your tardiness might be the best course of action.

When I suggested that to my sister, I must admit that it didn’t gain positive reactions from her or our parents. They all had this belief that only mentally challenged people would do that. But after retelling the possible mental health causes of constant lateness, my sister finally agreed to professionally meet my best friend.

After a few appointments, it turned out that my sister had social anxiety. Although it seemed like she didn’t care about being on time, we became aware that her anxiety was making her tardy all these years. The psychologist prescribed one-on-one counseling to my sister, followed by immersion in crowded places whenever she felt ready.



Months later, my sister’s tardiness seemed to lessen little by little.

Bottom Line

Being always late does not mean that someone is a rebel who doesn’t care about rules. Most of the time, they do care. The only problem is that they have no idea how to change this habit.

Well, now that you’ve reached the bottom of this article, you cannot use the same excuse anymore. Let your brain soak in the information above and ask for mental help if you need it. Good luck!




Self-help healing methods gained popularity in the first place since many people like to be able to say that they got better on their own. According to Alyssa Adams, PsyD, “Taking care of yourself isn’t up for question. Without spending proper time to recharge, you’re setting yourself up for burnout.” Or worse, a mental health issue. When you have a sore throat, for instance, it’s easy to blend honey, lemon, and hot water. If stress begins to take a toll on your mental state, you can exercise, log out of social media, or go to a spa.

Alas, do-it-yourself tricks cannot solve every problem you possibly have, especially when it comes to mental health issues. Because of that, you should know the times when you need to see a therapist the most.




  1. You Avoid People

One sign that a counselor may help you is when it has become a habit to prevent being around every kind of person out there. That does include not only strangers but also friends and relatives. Thus, you no longer go to parties, you get food deliveries instead of eating in restaurants, and you sometimes avoid going to work or school.

It’s vital to understand that that’s not the behavior of someone with a healthy mind. If you can’t stop doing those things by yourself, then you may have to call a therapist ASAP.

  1. You Can’t Help But Feel Angry Or Dejected Often

Feeling uncontrollable rage and sadness is common for individuals with anger-management issues or depression. It seems too taxing for you to find a reason to smile. Even when others try to liven up your spirits, you end up getting annoyed, to the extent that you either walk out of the room or yell at everyone.

Is that an indication of normalcy? No. It makes your issues as clear as day. Hence, you need guidance from a counselor at this point.

  1. You Forgo The Activities You Used To Love

When an unfortunate situation befalls an active person, he or she does not sit on the problem for too long. Maybe they’ll cry about it for a few days; perhaps they’ll go against the tides to make matters right. What these people will never do, however, is let go of the job or hobbies that they’ve always loved.

In case you catch yourself doing the opposite of that now, and months already passed since that disastrous event in your life, you need to move on without any more delay. There are far too many adventures out there, and a single occurrence shouldn’t discourage you from taking them on ever. Considering you can’t rise from the slump, though, you may then look for a good therapist.

  1. You Want To Heal

“The urge to know what your life is all about and to know your life’s direction leaves you feeling uncertain about the future and discontent with the present,” says Marcia Reynolds Psy.D. Counseling, consequently, is not merely for folks who cannot find their footing in this world. It can also encompass the ones who accept that there’s something wrong with them. After all, healing blossoms from having that frame of mind.



Finally, don’t think that therapists are only helpful to people with severe mental conditions. They can assist anyone who wants to improve their way of thinking and get rid of whatever psychological burden that stops them from finding happiness. The counselors at BetterHelp, for example, are trained and experienced with providing information about various mental health issues. However, they are also available 24/7 if you simply need a listening ear or a compassionate friend who can hear you out when you are down and out. Client testimonials would tell you that many lives have turned around for good after weeks of online therapy with them. Partner with BetterHelp today.

If there’s an issue you’ve been bottling up for years, for that reason, contact a therapist soon. “The benefits of therapy extend far beyond periods of crisis,” says Ryan Howes, Ph.D., a psychologist and writer. “Many people want more than to be ‘not depressed.’ They wonder what they can do to be the happiest, most productive, most loving version of themselves.” He added.



Productivity is an essential result of work. When we get things done, our superiors laud us for being more effective. When we’re not efficacious, though, we would better likely get booted out of our jobs. 

depression stumps productivity


“Usually procrastination happens because the task seems too difficult to solve,” said A. Chris Heath, MD, a psychiatrist.

Or it could be stress or depression. That is why it’s hard for depressed people to keep up with work demands because WE don’t have the drive to get things done and be prolific. Thus, the big question is, how to be productive in times like this?

Read More →

With this Coronavirus issue that you are dealing with, perhaps you are already bored and unmotivated. But if you think about it, you genuinely have a lot of free time. Thus, you can choose to waste all of it and lay around the couch all day, or you can choose to invest it and do something productive. Honestly, the choice is yours. But if you want to consider the latter, the best way to use your time productively is by learning and developing new skill sets. That way, when things get back to normal, which eventually will, you will become ready and more prepared.


Choose A Skillset That Can Create An Immediate Impact – It is essential to note that the best skillset you need to focus on is the ones that can impact your career, business, and life. Do not try and engage in a skillset that might take you years to accomplish results. Not only it may become obsolete in the years to come, but you might get exhausted overtime as well. Therefore, consider something that you can learn quickly. It should be a skill set that you can use and implement right now. It should be entirely practical. Some examples would be cooking, baking, digital marketing, coding, graphic arts, copywriting, and web business development. These skillsets have the potential to grow in the future due to the change of economic needs.


Choose A Skillset That You Can Learn From The Comfort Of Your Home – With all the limitations, restrictions, and health dangers due to the Coronavirus pandemic, staying at home is essential. Therefore, use the opportunity to learn things through the internet. You do not need to go to a physical location. You only have to rely on your computer. But take note; consider learning new skillsets one at a time. Do not go crazy over learning too many is a short period. Do not juggle three or more because it can slow down the process of completion. That is because the possibility of distraction is high due to the other tasks that might get in the way. So focus on one thing at a time.


Choose A Skillset that You Are Passionate About – One thing that you need to consider when trying to learn a new skillset is your willingness to accomplish it. If you engage in learning something that is not related to your fortes or thinks less about it, you might not be able to finish what you have started. So to avoid this, choose a skillset that you are passionate about and not that you only try for the sake of wanting to learn something. So if you like drawing, proceed to learn graphic arts. If you know a little bit about computer programming, then continue to learning software development. Just do not go overboard with what is only available. Choose the skillset you know you will spend a lot of hours learning, giving extra effort, and aiming for the best results.



Honestly, learning a new skill set, whatever it is, is still valuable. But for practicality, some skills will become more in demand than the others. That is why it is essential to engage in those skill sets that will guarantee you a better financial and work stability. That way, whatever uncertainties that may come in your life, you can still become confident because you know you have the potential to adapt socially and economically. And once this whole pandemic situation is over, your newly acquired skills will help you get through the struggle.