“When two individuals choose to form a marital union, their decision has enormous power—for better or for worse—over the quality of their lives. Their marriage can bring them infinite blessings or can usher in disappointment, strife, anger, and depression,” says Susan Heitler Ph.D.
How do you think a married couple treats each other after years of being together? “Profound romantic love is characterized by the wish to be with the partner all the time. This, however, can harm each one’s personal space,” says Aaron Ben-Zeév Ph.D.
When they remain in love, you will see the wife making breakfast or preparing the husband’s stuff, and vice versa. Once that fades but the friendship stays, they will still perform activities as a tandem and perhaps understand one another more. However, if the love is there yet work is starting to put a wedge in between the couple, the marriage might suffer big-time.
Below are the red flags showing how that will possibly take place.
- You Have Irregular Shifts
The continually changing operating hours only suits single individuals. In case you have to cover different shifts after every week or so, that’s just okay in the beginning or if you work around the same time as your better half. Once he or she complains that you are never home when they are and turns bitter anytime you need to go to the job site, though, then the sign that your marriage is in jeopardy becomes as clear as day.
- If Your Spouse Cannot Listen To Your Talks About Work, You Become Detached
When you get hired by a new company, your better half will most likely be as excited as you are and want to know everything about your projects, how your colleagues treat you, et cetera. Considering the eagerness already dies down because your job is all you wish to speak of with your spouse, however, you may think that he or she isn’t happy for you. Thus, you talk less to them unless the subject concerns the bills and what-not.
The reality is that any sane husband or wife loves to see their significant other succeed in their chosen craft. It’s just that you might be overdoing it, and there’s no time for you to talk about various things, such as the spouse’s work, the kids, and many more. Think about that next time before getting angry whenever they feign disinterest regarding your job.
- You Bring Home Stress From Work
Another red flag is letting stress come with you from the office. When that happens, your patience level is undoubtedly not that high; that’s why you might pick a fight with your significant other over the tiniest mistakes.
Now, in case you have a super understanding husband or wife, they will know better than to egg you on at that moment. But remember as well that you married a mortal – not a saint – so you should control your mood swings and avoid bringing stress back to the house.
- You Forget Significant Occasions
The final nail to the marriage coffin is losing track of all the relevant events that you used to celebrate together. You can stay in the office for eight hours straight and even work overtime, but it’ll be great if you don’t forget to come home early for special occasions like anniversary, birthday, et cetera. Your lack of recollection of those dates might make the spouse feel as if the job already replaced family on your priority list, and that can’t be good.
Loving your job isn’t a crime. The work gives you the ability to pay for your expenses instead of making your husband or wife shoulder them. Despite that, do not love it more than your spouse. That will ruin your marriage, for sure. “The decision to get married might entail a confrontation that seems adversarial and awfully unpleasant,” says Susi Ferrarello Ph.D. It will take a lot of work and effort if you want it to last.