Do you love yourself? Love Yourself.
This article is particularly focused on the ‘Love Yourself’ topic. Not quite like the song of Justin Bieber titled “Love Yourself”. It’s more like focusing on your self worth.
You see, ever since I decided to study psychology and eventually practiced counseling, I made a vow to keep myself neutral all the time. This was a challenging task for me, considering I used to be very judgmental.
Many people tell me to ‘love yourself’ instead of throwing comments. If I saw a lovely, blonde girl in a barely-there skirt, I would think that: “She’s lovely, but she’s a bimbo.”. My assumptions were correct most of the time; however, that’s not something that I could continue doing if I wanted to become an unbiased and effective psychologist and counselor.
The Road To Loving Your Own Self
During my first year in college, my judgmental side was very strong. I was ashamed of myself for it to say the least. It got to the point where I asked one of my professors if I should change my degree. However, she explained that I was merely human and told me “love yourself instead.”
It was quite a challenging mindset to develop. How can someone truly love oneself? How can one accept their true self? How can I fill my life with self love? It’s not really something I can search on YouTube or Facebook. The song lyrics to Ed Sheeran music were not enough. Hello, Justin Bieber? A little help in here, please!
But, here’s the thing: As years pass, I had improved at being less judgmental. I simply took the advice – love yourself.
The Admission To My Judgmental Side
By the time I opened my own clinic, I believed that my judgmental days were over. I had my professional training and licenses. I can handle taking care of mental disorders and other issues. I can be a reliable ally who can cheer up patients, encourage them to embrace themselves, and promote the “love yourself” mentality.
However, what my mentors or books or instructional videos did not prepare me for was the high number of women who would seek psychological advice because they were desperately in love with the wrong person.
You might ask, “Isn’t ‘desperate’ a harsh word to use to describe how those women feel?”
Well, although not all cases are the same, the fact remained that I watch my female relationship counselling clients still be with their boyfriends even after catching them fooling around with other girls. Yes, they would call it quits for a while. But, once the guy tried to woo them back into the relationship, they would give in once more. I can already imagine Ed Sheeran shaking his head in disappointment.
It seems like my judgmental side was still very much a part of my life.
So, Is It Really Love?
Listen up ladies: that is not true love! He isn’t the man of your dreams who would bring you happiness.
What’s frustrating about this was that most – if not all – of these women were smart and successful. Some had high-ranking positions in their companies. Others managed their own businesses. Indeed, they have established themselves in this world. They were living a good quality of life! Yet, I continue to watch them be miserable with their love life.
Do you love yourself enough to know when a relationship is not right anymore? Remember: staying in a bad relationship is not self-respect.
Do You Love Yourself Enough To Let Go?
These women fully understand that their men’s behavior is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. Their men only fill them with doubt and unhappiness. They knew what they are supposed to do. Obviously, they should break off the relationship and practice self love. It’s a clear sign – their awful boyfriends will not fill the gaps they have in life.
But, here’s the thing: They admitted to not knowing how to do it. They were at lost at knowing how to love their self.
The result? Staying in an unhealthy relationship and ignoring every single negative sign.
Why Many Women Felctim To Love
While I secretly had my fill of frustration with my clients, I always wondered why many women are influenced by things like bad relationships. Every single sign is out there already. Worse, even if they knew that they were getting victimized, they were still willing to accept the guys once the latter said sorry. They always fall for those empty promises of change.
Do Justin Bieber have a song for this scenario? I think he does. This content you’re currently viewing will give you more insights.
Of course, I can’t simply tell my clients to stop being dumb. I could not lead a pep talk to let their minds matter more than their hearts for at least a second. I can’t preach that they can’t win at life if they stayed with the wrong man.
I can’t even tell them to go on YouTube and watch the music videos of Justin Bieber and Ed Sheeran in hopes of getting inspired by the song lyrics!
But, there’s one thing I can definitely tell them: Love yourself first and let go.
Focusing On Self-Love: The Art Of Finally Letting Go And Gaining Inner Peace
Why can’t I let go?
I had met some women who admitted that they couldn’t let go of their awful boyfriends because they were already comfortable. Even one of my closest friends had a similar issue. She dreaded being single and going back to the dating pool. She doesn’t want to fall back to phase zero on the search for her greatest love.
While there’s not really a one-size-fits-all answer to the question above, such reasons tend to stem from dependence or fear of loneliness. They need a special someone to fill in the gaps in their life.
Because of this, they tend to hasten the search.
It’s not that these women were madly in love with their boyfriends. They merely don’t want to be alone in this world. They would rather prioritize relationships with others more than self love.
What It Means To Not Let Go
What women must understand is that staying in a messy relationship can make you lonelier in life than ever. Yes, you’re not single. But, you’re always crying and wondering who your man would flirt with next. Yes, you’re exclusively dating. But, you constantly worry that you’re not the only one who your boyfriend treats the same way. If that’s the matter, it’s so much better to be single than deal with all those issues including details about managing your partner’s treatment towards you. This type of relationship will only fill you with bad memories.
It’s better to continue to YouTube and see if Justin Bieber search for on YouTube has a new song. Just saying.
Kidding aside, focus on loving yourself and on what’s around you. The world is so big to stay in a bad relationship. The wrong person will only fill your life with negativity.
The Best Advice To Everyone – Please Love Yourself!
Based on past activity, my final advice is that you need to love yourself before you demand others to do it. How will you know a love is right when you don’t even love yourself?
A simple way of showing that is by letting go of the people who did not care for you, your feelings, or your reputation. There’s so much more in this world than wasting your time on the wrong person!
Love is indeed a wonderful feeling. But, just like Ed Sheeran said: loving can hurt. An awful boyfriend will not fill you with that wonderful feeling and enhance the quality of your life. If you know that you are with the wrong man, it’s time to accept that he should not be a part of your life anymore.
Love Yourself First, The Rest Will Follow
You may think you need to be with someone to be happy in this world, but you really don’t need to rush it. So while dating and sex are fantastic, it’s better to try your luck with another – better loving – man next time. Don’t be afraid of the search process!
As the songs lyrics of Justin Bieber goes: “Baby, you should go and love yourself.”
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) On Love Yourself
- What is the meaning behind Love Yourself?
- Does the term love yourself mean being alone?
- How do you know if you love yourself or not?
- What are the ways to love yourself?
- What are the 5 Steps to self-love?
- Why is it hard to accept reality?