Has anyone ever mentioned that you cannot have everything you wish for at once?
Sacrifice, according to folklore, after all, is the key to success. You need to give up on one thing to achieve something. Thus, you may see that some people choose to be a stay-at-home parent and leave the corporate world or remain in the workforce without thinking of starting a family.
Despite that, take a peek at lives of various successful individuals like Elizabeth Banks, Adam Levine, Chris Hemsworth, et cetera. You will often see them promoting a movie, judging in a TV show, or releasing albums, but their relationship with their respective spouses cannot be any more excellent. These stars are proof, of course, that being successful in both marriage and career is not an unlikely dream. As what Dr. Mike McNulty, a Master Certified Gottman Therapist is saying, “Having a spouse addicted to work can feel like as much of a betrayal as extramarital affair to the other spouse.”
If you still have no clue how that works, allow us to expound on the idea.
Communicate Often Effectively
The marital problems usually ignite once the husband or wife shows more importance to speaking with clients and colleagues instead of the significant other. According to Judy Ford LCSW, “We want our partner to understand and when we are listened, we feel cared for.” While that is reasonable when you are in the office, your spouse might get hurt and might think negative thoughts on hyperdrive.
What helps in that situation is an open line of communication. First off, focus on your significant other when you are together and only accept messages from work if there’s an emergency. Decide on the times as well when you can chat freely every day so that you know what’s happening to each other at certain hours. In case you cannot agree on something, talk about the whys with your better half without shouting.
Set Egos Aside
“You want to make courageous decisions in synch with your best self, but that means reducing the power of that aspect of your ego that is a trickster. Your trickster ego leads you to make bad decisions out of fear, preventing you from being true to yourself,” says Carl Greer PhD PsyD. This ego will destroy everything you hold dear, including your marriage.
Another issue when both partners have successful careers is that no one seems to want to back down whenever there’s an ongoing argument. Each will insist on being right until you end up sleeping on different beds.
That is not a healthy ingredient for a lasting marriage, you know. If anything, letting your colossal ego cloud your judgment will undoubtedly push you toward the divorce lane.
It is sound advice, therefore, to set aside your pride once you get married. Admit your flaws and say sorry for your misgivings. Neither you nor your spouse is perfect, and that is okay. The most significant thing is that you will not ruin your chances of having a great work-life balance.
Learn To Adapt
Even though you have a nine-to-five job, there may be instances in which your boss will ask you to work for more hours and barely have the time to do household chores. In other occasions, your spouse may be in that position. However, does that entail that your marriage cannot survive?
Nope. In truth, a lot of modern couples experience that kind of setup, and their union is still faring well.
As a tandem, you merely have to keep an open mind about each other’s work schedule and regroup whenever time allows it.
In The End
You do not need to become a meta-human with incredible strength to juggle your marriage and career and become successful at both. For sure, you might have to decide between the two sometimes, but that is not enough reasoning to give up on either altogether.