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There’s nothing wrong with striving hard for you to achieve your desired career goal and at the same time be a loving and responsible partner. The thing is, wanting to have both is seemingly impossible due to the demands required on each side; there’s just so much to do that neglect without compromise happens, mostly taking for granted current relationships. But as what Dr. Jim Healy, counseling psychologist, quoted, “You may find that you can modify your job expectations in order to leave more time for family.”
No Is No
Are you always there when your boss needs you? Do you set your ringtone loud enough to wake you up in the middle of the night just in case a problem suddenly arises at the office? In a demanding position, it’s common to feel “on call” at all times, just in case some unforeseen need arises, says Erika Boissiere, a licensed marriage and family therapist. Are you the type of person who leaves a dinner date so that you can go to the office to double-check on a file that you already submitted? If your answer is resounding “yes,” then, congratulations, you have officially become a work zombie.
Avoid the incessant and increasingly ludicrous demands by mobilizing the power of saying “No.” Think before you agree on something that will eat up a lot of your time or is something that is not worth your time at all. If you can’t answer immediately, tell the person that you need a moment to think about it and that you’ll get back to him or her in a while. However, if you believe that you cannot do what is asked of you because you have someone waiting for you at home, just blurt it out and don’t hesitate to say no.
What Happens At Work, Stays At Work
Do not bring work home or do not even entertain any work-related thoughts that go inside your mind when you’re somewhere else. Once you step out of the office, anything that you haven’t finished for that particular day, you can do it the next day. If you are bothered that you have extra work lying around that you might forget, write them down as reminders on a post-it and stick it on your desktop monitor. Acknowledge that there will be work that requires more than 8 hours to finish and which can be done the next day.
Forbid Checking Emails
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Banning all employees to check their work emails the moment the clock strikes six is an excellent made-up law because this will force everyone to obey and stay focused on other important aspects of your life like family and friends. Although, it might be a bit tricky not to log into your email due to that twitchy feel of your fingers wanting to take a peek if there’s an announcement from work or an email from the big man. Often, checking of emails while you’re at home or having a vacation is not added productivity but just unnecessary and untimely stress. Daniel J. Levitin PhD, a cognitive psychologist, writes, “An email that you know is sitting there, unread, may sap attentional resources as your brain keeps thinking about it, distracting you from what you’re doing.
Do Not Reply Immediately
As much as possible, make them wait for your response. Do not come running around in an instant if you see that there’s a new email sent to you or that there’s a new notification in your company’s group chat. A pretty good technique to set ground rules and prevent incessant requests is to make it clear that a response will be provided within 24 to 48 hours. On the other hand, if you received a text message which requires an immediate response, you can always opt to say no. The point is, you are trying to tell people that you are a person who has a life and is not tied to his or her desk.
Admittedly, these techniques are hard to apply especially if you are just a new member of the team or are continually struggling to be promoted. But if you’re really determined to reach your goals and still be a good partner, you should know how to handle your time, as well as the people around you.